Open Letter to Scott Free

Hello, 
My name is David and I have always enjoyed visiting your website. However, I am unable to fully access your online videos. You see, I am Deaf and I log on your website for news but I cannot access the information because the videos are not captioned. I know I am not the only one and I strongly encourage you to caption your online videos so that I and the million of viewers with hearing loss can access your information. 
Your company can also benefit from having the videos captioned. Caption files are "Google-able" and because of this, your videos are more likely to show up in search results. This means additional traffic to your website. 
Please do the right thing and start providing equal access by captioning your online videos.  
Thank you. 
Sincerely, 
David Ballard

No Second Chance (PROLOGUE)

My hands were shaking uncontrollably as I looked at them. The word came across my mind rhythmically: Lost… lost… lost… I could hear my own breath, which was rapid and short. And I did not bother to wipe away my salty tears, which rolled down endlessly from my glassy eyes. Even though I knew my tears coming down, I yet could not feel them. There were so many things that had been going on and before I could realize, I had no control over those. Furthermore, I had no clue what happened; I just knew that my life was literally upside down.

What scared me the most is that I could not understand why I was sitting in the middle of the park in the dark. No one even bothered to come to take away my wallet, nor a policeman asked me to leave at the hour. Looking skyward, it was silent and clear night, yet it terrified me because the sight of starry night simply told me that I am completely alone and I am no different than a speck of dust.

I looked back at my hands again, and they were still shaking. Is it a real living nightmare I am living in? If so, this nightmare certainly has no escape for me. As I held my hands together, for some reason, I had the memory of hand holding… It was the time I was only twelve years old…

“Kevin?” muttered the boy, who was following me. He just had thirteenth birthday two days ago, and was a little bit older than me. However, he was somewhat smaller than me.

“Yeah?” I replied.

“Where are we going?” asked the boy.

“Matt, you will see. It is something really cool,” I said. As we were hiking through the forest on their vacation with our families, we became friends ever since we started walking. “Last night you were so sleepy, so I decided to walk around and I found a secret place. I think you will like this place.”

“Ah, okay,” muttered Matt. “Sometimes, I just hate it when you are ahead of me.”

“Aww, ain’t you whining like a crybaby?” I mocked lightly.

“Hey! I am thirteen years old, you jerk!”

“Then, act like one!”

After few seconds, he jumped in, “Wait, you walked all the way last night… Did Mom and Dad know?”

“What they don’t know, it will not hurt. Besides, I am back in one piece, ain’t I?”

“Whatever.”

Finally, we arrived on the top of the hill, I patted on Matt’s back and said, “Happy birthday!”

Matt opened his mouth, looking at the beautiful nature of the forest, lake, and the hills being combined together. Matt murmured, “Wow… It is so beautiful…” Before us, we stood in awesome presence of mother nature. No chopped trees, no toxic wastes, no polluted dirt. Just simply untouched beauty of God’s splendor…

I nodded, “Yeah, when I see this under the moonlight, I bet it looks great with the sun, seeing those…” I lost my words to describe how beautiful the nature was.

“Yeah,” said Matt, sighing. “Thanks, Kevin…”

I turned and looked at Matt, smiling and wrapping my arm around Matt. Matt wrapped his arm over me as well. While Matt’s eyes was glued at marvelous nature, I grinned as I slapped Matt’s chest.

“Ow!” winced Matt softly, “What was that for?”

I chuckled, pushing him. “Ow… You sound like a cry-“

“Don’t you dare!” Matt shouted with a laugh. Instantly, we got into wrestling on the soft soil beneath us. Matt got on the top of me, pinning me at last against the ground, and smiled with knowledge that he is a winner.

“Okay!” I yielded to Matt, “All right! You win!” I continued laughing, knowing Matt desired to win. Once I started laughing, I could not stop, which gave Matt the best advantage. “Get off from me, crybaby!”

Matt laughed, knowing that I did not mean it. He remained on the top, holding my arms against the ground, “First, don’t call me crybaby again!”

I murmured, “Okay, I won’t call you that name anymore because you’re my best friend, crybaby!” Then, I laughed again.

Matt’s groaning mixed with laughter-

I took advantage and I pushed Matt off his guard and pinned him against the ground, “Now, are you done, crybaby?”

Matt laughed, “Okay, okay! We both are even, then, jerk?”

I finally let go of Matt’s arms, standing up and offering Matt my hand. Matt accepted the offer as he grabbed and stood up. I sighed, “Whew! I have to tell you that you are getting stronger…”

Matt nodded, “Yeah, so you better not play around with me again!”

I nodded with a sarcasm on my face, “Oh sure, but don’t you forget that I am still bigger than you!”

Matt grinned, looking back to the nature, “Well, that doesn’t bother me as much as…” His words trailed off…

I frowned, looking at Matt’s face. I was able to tell by Matt’s face changing from happy to troublesome. I was waiting to see if Matt was going to continue what he started, but I stepped in, “Something bothering you?”

Matt cleared his throat, looking at me, “Well, we are getting older…” His words trailed off again and that irritated me, but I decided not to say anything until Matt finished. “You know, we are going to high school pretty soon.”

I lifted my eyebrows, “But it will be a year later?”

Matt nodded as if he already knew, “Yeah, a year later, but you know that we saw several movies and T.V. shows about buddies… Don’t you notice that most friendships falling apart in time?”

I sighed, “Ah, you were worried if our friendship will end up like those T.V. shows?”

Matt groaned uneasily, “Not like those shows, don’t you see some people are like that today as well. I mean, look at my dad, we both know that he used to have a friend. Because of the war, he ended up being a mean redneck and my dad could not stand how he deals with people. But, they have their paths to go and go different ways.”

I nodded, “Yeah, I remembered that my dad had a best friend he met in his elementary school. But my dad did not like the way he liked men. My dad said that he should be with the women… He even told me to find the right woman, not a man.”

Matt looked at me, “You mean he is a queer?”

“Queer?” I asked, puzzling.

“Yeah, I heard that word from my dad when he talked with other guys about men ‘screwing each other’ and they were known as queers.”

“Well, I don’t know, but all I know is that I like you as my friend.”

Matt chuckled, “I agree with you...” He paused for a while. “Oh yeah, I saw Katherine last week,” he interjected.

I widened my eyes, “You did?”

Matt nodded with excitement, “Oh, yeah, you bet… Man, her boobs are getting bigger-ow!” I struck his shoulder. “Why did you do that for?”

I said, “She is my dream girl and you know that!”

Matt replied, “Let me finish talking! You’ll love this!”

Hesitating for few seconds, I frowned, “Okay, what is it?”

Matt continued, “She was in the car with her mom. She saw me mowing the grass and she yelled me. Of course, I was surprised that she was driving by with her mom. She asked me to tell you that she is looking forward to see you in three weeks.”

I dropped my jaw, “She said that?”

His grin vanished slowly, “Yeah…”
I frowned, “Matt? What’s wrong?”

Matt sighed, “Well, that’s the point. I just hope that you don’t forget me over girls. I don’t care how many girlfriends you have as long as we are still best friends. You know what I am saying?” He heaved a sigh, looking down on the ground and kicking some of the dirt around.

I took a deep breath, “Matt, I don’t want to lose you, too.”

He looked at me, “But is that enough?”
I shook my head softly, “You’re right. It’s not good enough.” I turned away from Matt, wandering around aimlessly. “Well, what would it be if it is enough for both of us?”

Matt pondered for a while, trying to think of something that could satisfy both of us. “Well, how about us making our promises n our souls?”

I turned around and looked toward Matt, “Souls?”

Matt shrugged, “Well, don’t you believe in ghosts?”

I nodded once, “Yes, I do…”

“Then, you should know that we both have souls. So, why don’t we promise in our souls to keep our friendship forever until the end?”

“That’s all?”
Matt shook his head firmly, “No, we have to say it and mean it seriously. No matter what happens to you, I will be there for you. No matter what happens to me, you will be there for me. Even if you are married or going to jail, I will be there for you. This is the kind of promise I really want.” Then, he paused, “And do you want it?”

I nodded, “Well, all I know about us is that I am so glad to be your friend.”

Matt replied, “Then, it will be worthless if we don’t make any vow and let our friendship continue like this!”

“Yeah, I agree… Well, then where should we start?”

Matt looked around, thinking of some rituals to set up the vow, “Well, I don’t know what we should do, but I do know what we should say.”

I spoke up, “Hey, what about blood brothers?”

Matt made a face, “Do I have to cut myself?”

I sighed, “Crybaby!” Then, we both laughed, knowing that there was nothing I can do.

Matt thought it out loudly, “What about hold our right hands while we grabbed our shoulders and look at each other? So, we can hold to each other and stared until we are ready to make our vows?”

It took few moments to ponder on what he said. After the years of knowing him, I would never expect him to say something like this. “Matthew, you know… That is very good idea.” I meant it. I was impressed to hear that from Matt.

Matt smiled softly, “Well, shall we start?”

I nodded, walking towards Matt grabbing each other. Now, we were only a foot apart from each other and our eyes connected. I could feel something strange, yet positive by looking at Matt. I did not realize how valuable it is to have Matt as my friend. Truthfully, I never regret that the day we met. Looking into Matt’s brown eyes, it was not the color, but his soul touching mine. Finally, I broke the silence, “Matt, no matter what happens to you, I will be there for you. No matter where you go, I will be there. I love you as my brother. You are not just a friend like everyone else. I promise not to leave you.”

Matt could feel my soul as well. In his heart, Matt could sense my complete honesty. He began his vow, “Kevin, thank you for being my friend. Now, you are no longer my friend. You are my brother. A brother who will be there for his brother, whenever his brother needs him. I am your brother and I will be there when you need me. And I love you as my true brother.”

After our vows exchanged, we stood next to each other for few minutes. Eventually, we whispered some words to each other…

Oh God! I thought. I am so sorry, Matt! So sorry for being a total idiot! Looking at my shaky hands, I wish I was there to re-commit this same vow to Mat again. Suddenly, a policeman was walking by and I tried not to make any noises because I simply don’t want him to see the way I look. However, he did take a look at me, and yet it was not me that he noticed. Was he acting like I did not exist at all?

How dare he for doing this. I felt like jumping out on him for treating me like I was a ghost. I thought to myself, remembering what Matt and I talked about. Oh God, what is happening to me…

As I was trying to think of how the whole thing started, I realized that I am having this dreadful thought: what was meant to be a good thing had just turned into hell for me.” Even though I knew that panicking was completely pointless at this time, I took a step to examine in the past. Taking a deep breath, I decided to remember this day. It was propably few days before the very moment that triggers my life into hell…

How To Lose Weight Effectively

First of all, I want to thank you all for your strong interest and your remarks about my workout, which I posted through Twitter/Facebook, that inspire you all to take good care of your health! The purpose of this blog is to share with you all how I manage to lose a lot of pounds.

Secondly, I am trying to share a simple blog because I went to stores and websites. There are way too many information to digest in our heads. I even bought one book and realized that I wasted my money... So, instead of telling you guys to read this book, that book, research the website, subscribe the magazine... Forget it! I just want to share free of charge for you people to grab the opportunity to cultivate your healthy future!

To be quite frank, it will be much easier once you set your habit. Please don't feel discouraged if you feel it's impossible. Please seek someone as your sponsor to keep you on the track with your health. I can't be there for you all because I am just a human being with limitations.

I had been through a lot of experiments by researching and doing various things. At first, I was recommended by my doctor to use Slim-Fast. I did, and it worked. However, the problem is that it's taking some time. Furthermore, I love food. So, I felt really struggled with my dietary habit, but I did not give up.

To my surprise, 60% of weight loss is based on the food you are eating! If you work out five times a week and you eat a lot of junk food, it's GAME OVER without question. I was there myself and, believe me, I really regretted those years I worked out and ate a lot of junk foods. I assumed that my workout routines would burn out the bad calories.

That's where I was very wrong. 40% of weight loss succession is physical workout itself, believe it or not!

Does that mean I have to skip one meal? Absolutely not! In fact, the more meals you eat, the better metabolism you will develop. That was what it happened to me.

Here is the list of meals and snacks I eat regularly:

Breakfast - Cereal. I eat that everyday. Trust me - breakfast is the most important meal that will increase your metabolism. Be sure it's low calories cereal. Multi-grain Cheerios is one of those great cereals. Be sure to eat half cup of cereal with 2% low-fat milk (half cup).

Snack - yogurt, nuts, and fruits (it has to be raw!) Be sure to eat small amount as big as yogurt.

Lunch - Spinach salad with chicken breasts. (I eat the same almost everyday and I still love it!) But, you can be creative with your salad for your taste as long as you watch the calories intake!

Dinner - 8-inch plate. Be sure to eat small amount that fills up 8-inch plate.

Drinks - a lot of water! Teas are fabulous, but avoid SODA POPS! They are harmful to your bodies!

Now, what do I eat for dinner? Be sure to eat healthy meats such as chicken and fish, potatoes, brown rice, salad (be creative), and all of those kinds of vegetables. The more raw vegetables you eat, the better it nurtures your body! Best meats I learned is chicken, turkey, pork tenderloin, and top sirloin.

AVOID FRIED FOODS! AVOID WHITE STUFF (White rice, white bread, anything WHITE)! AVOID BBQ (They are so tasty, but oh-so-FAT calories-filled! In fact, one meal from BBQ grill can count up to 2000 calories!)

You can really eat anything as long as you eat 1200-1400 calories a day! How do you count calories you eat daily? For iPhone users, check out the app you can download for free of cost - LOSE IT! From there, you can check out which food you can eat. For Blackberry users, check out this website. I am not sure if it's good because I am an iPhone user. SORRY! But, they have the website where you can keep all of your information with your weight, food, and exercise - fatsecret.com.

Do you know that if you eat 2000 calories and then you do a workout for an hour that can burn about 700 calories, that means you eat 1300 a day? Therefore, it's already considering as a diet!

Good news - you can eat JUNK FOOD as long as you eat it ONCE a week. After a whole week of your commitment to food habit, you can reward yourself by eating one NICE BIG MEAL that you really love: Pizzas, dinner meal at Chili's, calories-packed BBQ meals at backyard, whatever you like! And then, go back to your habit.

What about desserts? You can! Again - CHECK THE CALORIES! Be sure to keep it under 1400 a day for six times per week!

What are so important about calories count? For a man, he would need to eat 2000 calories a day. Woman needs to eat 2500 calories a day. However, junk foods in America will add up to about 4000 a day!

Imagine this: for a normal week with normal calories, it's supposed to be 14,000 calories. But with junk food, it's like eating 28,000 calories.

In fact, 3,500 calories is EQUAL to ONE POUND OF FAT!

If I eat only 1,000 calories a day, then I will eat only 7,000 calories a week. That means I will lose two pounds. That means I lose eight pounds a month!

Now, that's where big advantage of EXERCISE comes in.

If I eat only 1,000 calories and then I went to gym to burn 600 calories, then I took only 400 calories a day. For a week, I ate only 2,800 calories!

For workout, I normally use total body crossramp for 60 minutes each day. I do four times each week. It burns about 600-900 calories. It depends on how hard you work out and how much weight you weigh. For example, I weighed 200 pounds (ugh!) and I did high resistance for an hour, I burnt 915 calories. But, I currently weigh 157 pounds and I did the same, but I burnt only 700 calories.

Of course, you can choose whichever you wish to exercise such as running, bicycling, swimming, and so on. You can research to find out which burns the most and then choose the exercise that you really enjoy! The truth is that the swimming itself is the number one calorie-burner of all, but it heavily relies on how hard you perform and how long you maintain to swim!

By now, I am positively sure that you feel overwhelmed with ideas and may feel it's impossible to achieve. To be quite frank, all you need is to worry about today. Don't worry about tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, next decade, or next century (if you live that long...) Ha! Just focus on today and then work by writing down on paper, typing on your computer, or use your phone to record your activities and food you eat.

I am positively sure that after a month, you will get used to it. After few months, you will be so used to it that you didn't even have to think about it and you will realize that you are in far better shape... That's because I am already there!

Of course, because of our lifestyle in America, we want everything happen within a second. Unfortunately, because of the time we spent neglecting our bodies, it's a small price to pay to maintain our health. Yet, that is the best part because you will realize that you are investing in a better healthy future.

My advice for you all is to make an ultimate goal not for only yourself, but for your family, your friends, and the ones who really cares about you. Please don't give up! Be grateful for the life you receive, so you can share with the loved ones.

If I can make it, you can make it!

Five Great Reasons For Weight Loss

Before reading, I want to express the reason why I wrote this blog, which is pretty simple. This is to encourage everyone to maintain their health. I have no intention to intimidate anyone. I simply want to encourage you all to maintain your healthy habits.

Secondly, I do not rank the reasons. To me, those reasons are equally important for me and I just want to share with you all. Since I made it, I know you all can make it.

What motivates me to share the reason is when the hot summer finally hit southern California on 14th of July, I didn't feel too hot or break a sweat. And then, people said it's so hot. It got me puzzled and I checked my iPhone for the temperature. That's when my eyes popped wide open because it was 93 degrees.

In the past, I sweated easily if it's 85 degrees or warmer. But, on that day, I did not sweat and I thought it was 82 degrees! That made me realize how great I feel after a year of working out. Therefore, it inspires me to share with you all.

1) Coping with hot weather easily! With weight loss, you will be able to deal with hot weather a lot better. Don't forget that it will save you a lot of money from electricity bill or gas from using AC in your car during hot weather.

2) Better mental alert! With workout as part of your routines, you will be able to notice that your mind works much better.

3) More energy boost! Oh man, I remembered those days I played with my nephews and I got so tired easily until I made a strong commitment to weight loss. That's when I realized that I lasted much longer and made it at the end of the day without a nap!

4) Save a lot of money! How can losing weight save me money? The answer is simple - less food to spend, less medicines to pay, and save your trips to see a doctor. That's true. I have been noticing myself that I don't need any more medicines comparing to last year. In addition, my friend finally joined the gym by my persuasion and she came to me one day saying that she noticed that she did not need to take Advil, which she normally do daily.

5) Better self-image! It's not about showing off yourself to people, but it's about looking in the mirror and feel proud of your achievement! Being in a good shape will show everyone how much you really take care of yourself. It will make yourself looking healthy and strong,

As you see, I can't really think of good reasons why to gain weight. I posted a picture above showing myself BEFORE and AFTER. It's clear that I looked older and unhealthy in BEFORE, comparing to AFTER.

By the way, to share my short story how I began losing my weight, it was that day I visited to see my doctor. My doctor wrote a simple note, "You are a little bit overweight. You need to watch your weight." That message really struck me and I did not really like what my doctor said, but at the same time, I realized I denied for a long time about my weight. Immediately, I set my goal on first day by researching about methods to lose my weight.

Truth be told, it's really hard at first because many friends of mine said, "Ohhh, good luck!" The others said, "Well, try your best." It's not that I blamed them. It's because it's rare to see people keeping their words nowadays. The point is that when my doctor said about my weight - it hit me that I did not really take care of my body. I did some research on Google about overweight and I was stunned to see that being overweight will cause issues on heart, liver, blood pressure, and you name it. If it doesn't affect in age of 20-40, it will be a big consequence in age of 50 or more. It will lead to taking more and more medicines.

Because of that, I became so determined to change my eating habit and my workout habit. It took me 10 months to achieve. Lately, many friends of mine were stunned to see the big transformation I succeed.

In the next blog, I will share with you all how I did with my eating habit and my workout. But, the purpose of this blog is to encourage you all to reconsider about your health, self-image, and true happiness. It's about investing your health in your future.

What I am trying to say is that each one of you out there is beautiful as long as you are taking care of yourself. There are a lot of benefits in maintaining your health daily, including happiness and better lifestyle.

Remember those movies or TV shows that show a person winning at the finish line with a joy on his/her face? That's how I felt when I reached the finish line and I am still maintaining my health daily.

Stay healthy and keep warm! :-)

Love Yourself

Once again, please keep in your mind that this blog is not short. Therefore, read it when you have a time with a coffee or tea in your hands.

Why did I come up with this title while this title itself is repeated everywhere? I am sure that you heard this quote in many forms so many times that its meaning may be invalid or meaningless. However, I see differently. This quote still inspires me.

Before I move on, please read my blog “To Judge or Not To Judge” because it concerns the attitude of passing judgment on the others.

What I am trying to say is that if you find yourself judging the others, then you really do not love yourself. Before I move deeper into the discussion, I want to share a story that is based on King David’s action that reflected his poor judgment as a king. You may read the passage (2 Samuel 11-12).

King David had been quite a successful king and won over many battles, leading his armies successfully. One day, he decided to stay home while his armies go on the war. One night, he saw the naked woman, Bathsheba, bathing. First of all, he was the king and he was supposed to establish an example as a man with moral values. Nevertheless, he summoned her to his bedroom and had a fun night.

Moreover, the woman King David chose to have an affair happened to be married to a man who is faithful soldier of King David. And to make things worse, Bathsheba got pregnant. Instead of telling the truth, King David summoned Bathsheba’s husband and got him drunk and to sleep with his wife to cover up.

But, the soldier was too loyal and he refused to sleep with his wife while he was currently on his duty as a soldier. (Poor soldier for being so loyal blindly to King David…) Anyway, King David got an idea by writing a letter. After sealing it, he told his loyal soldier to deliver it to the enemy at the front line.

The loyal soldier obeyed without asking a single question. At the front line, he delivered the sealed letter to the commander. Inside the sealed letter, it told the enemy commander to have someone to kill the soldier. Unfortunately, the faithful and loyal soldier was killed. That way, King David can marry Bathsheba after a month of mourning and everything was good.

What he had done is lie, steal, kill, and adultery while he was supposed to be an example of a man with moral values. So, one day, the man named Nathan who is known as a prophet of God came to him. Once King David saw Nathan, he gave the prophet a big welcome and said, “What is it I can do for you?”

Nathan sighed, “Well, I want to share something that bothers me.”

David inquired, “What is it? Is there something I can do?”

Nathan nodded, “Okay, you see… there was a large farm owned by a rich man. He has so many sheep and plenty of harvest that he has many tenants living around to do all the work. You see, one of those tenants is a poor family that owns only an innocent lamb. They are very poor that they feed the lamb from their own table.

“Unfortunately, once the rich man realized that his guest is coming, he wanted to prepare a finest meal, but he did not want to use one of his sheep. Therefore, he decided to have one of his servants to snatch that innocent lamb from the poor family, breaking their hearts.” Nathan shook his head, “It’s so sad to see the children crying as they watched their lamb being taken away. The lamb was killed mercilessly by the servant and was prepared for a dinner meal for the rich man and the guest. Of course, the rich man and the guest ate without expressing their gratitude. So, what do you think we should do with this rich man?”

King David was so furious and said, “Surely, that rich man deserves to die! And he should pay back four times for what he stole!”

Nathan turned toward King David and said, “Indeed?”

King David shouted, “Yes!”

Nathan pointed toward King David and shouted, “You are that same man!”

It caught King David completely off the guard. Nathan continued, “You are the king and you have several wives, but you chose to have an affair with this woman and to end her husband’s life!”

King David suddenly confessed his mistakes and asked for forgiveness.

I can continue, but I am focusing on the topic, “Love Yourself.” Why did I share this story? You see, King David was angry with the person for his mistake, but it was himself that he was angry and loathing at!

If I look at someone and felt negative against someone, then it’s ME that I am having problems with. It’s in my personal experience that I judged the others because I don’t really love myself.

After facing my worst time of my life in the past, I realized that my life got so much better just because I learned to love one other as I love myself. Loving myself is not easy because I did hate myself for many reasons. Hence, it was the reason why I judged the others harshly.

So, my question: Do you really love yourself regardless to the flaws you have? If not, please do. Life itself is quite beautiful once you learn how to love yourself and to forgive yourself for your mistakes in your past. From the point, I believe the journey to true happiness will begin.

Church Is An Ugly Word

Before you shout your head off at me, I am asking you politely to read the whole blog to consider the purpose of my message.

The question: What makes me thinking “church” as an ugly word?

The answer is pretty simple. After the years of going to churches, I had been witnessing a lot of mistreatments that were going on. I used to be a pastor, making poor judgmental calls and becoming ultra-conservative Bible thumper. In year 2002, my life turned around and I finally saw many things differently. After socializing with people outside of the churches, it was like opening my eyes to the new world.

Once I got the short message from cool guy, “Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.” Once I posted it on my facebook, it suddenly stirred up a debate. From that point, I grabbed some time to observe and to think about things that are going on around nowadays.

The truth is that I do hate going to churches. My close friends and my family are very aware of that. I have no secret about this. It is simply because the churches failed to understand the significance of support system.

I want to share one story with you guys. It’s about my friend who is a mother and was an alcoholic. She had an affair with a married man and got pregnant by him. Unfortunately, that man had to leave her to stay with his wife. Furthermore, she faced more hardships: (1) being an alcoholic and (2) unemployment.

She refused the choice to abort and she did not want to drink any alcohol beverage to harm her child. One night, she showed up at the Alcoholic Anonymous, baring her soul as worthless, stupid person with no value. However, a week later, the group gathered to offer her a plenty of help that she did not ask for. She got a new room prepared for her child. The group also scheduled meals ready to serve her after the birth, and she has plenty of supplies such as diapers, clothes, and so on that last for a year. And the best part is that she did not have to pay one cent for hospital to deliver the child.

After listening to this story, my jaw was on the floor. Why is that? It’s because I never witness such love from any church in my entire life. That made me wondering: What happens to the churches nowadays?

Therefore, the church itself is becoming an ugly word because if I asked my friend who is non-believer to come to church with me, I am sure he/she will feel apprehensive. And, I don’t blame him/her for this.

Another question: Why do I write this?

It’s because I want the Christians to wake up and to start sharing love, not passing any more judgmental calls. And it's because I am so tired and sick of hearing many people out there telling me how cold Christians treated them whenever they go to church.

Especially whenever the person missed for whatever reasons, the others tend to ask the person why they missed last Sunday. What kind of love is that? If the person missed, the others could simply contact to talk and to hang out. Now, that's what I really want to see in the churches nowadays.

Therefore, church is truly an ugly word because it doesn’t sound welcoming for people in general. It’s time for you church goers to wake up and to examine your hearts. It’s because as a Christian, we are called to share the love. Sadly, church itself is now dying and nowadays people chose to believe that church is simply a place for feeble-minded religious freaks. I don't blame them for thinking that way.

My final question: What is the solution?

What I can say is to check your heart. Do you really love anyone? Love them regardless to their different lifestyle? Different beliefs? Different opinions? If you say no to one of those, you would need to examine your heart because we are not here to judge the people.

Here are the passages for you to consider:

II Peter 1:3-9

Ephesians 4:2-3

I can go on and list more passages showing how important it is to love one other.

Also, my good friend shared the passage with me from the book called, "UnChristian," which I had been postponing to read. Nevertheless, please read this passage:

"As Christians, we have to keep in mind that response rates are not the ultimate goal but rather the wise and careful stewardship of the image of God. Today's media and technology create unparalleled opportunities but they also wield the potential to harm the Christian image among many outsiders. If you create more barriers with outsiders because of your tactics, you have not been good steward of the gospel. How we choose to share Christ is as important as our actually doing it."

Once again, we have to remember: we have NO rights to judge. Matthew 7:1 stated, "Do not judge others, and you will not be judged."

I personally pray that the Christians change their attitudes and transform themselves into loving people. Otherwise, church remains as ugly word to the outsiders.

To Judge Or Not To Judge...

NOTE: There are three notes for you to consider:

(1) This is going to be a long blog – so, please read it when you are having a cup of coffee or a tea and relax. ;-)

(2) This is focusing on the Christians. However, I welcome anyone to read because I still care about you whether if you are Christian or not. :-)

(3) This blog is not going to be theological discussion such as “how to be a good person before going to heaven.” I am simply focusing on behavior of Christians in general nowadays.

Before I starting writing, I want to make this clear to readers – I am a Christian and I used to pass a lot of judgmental calls on people. Of course, I went through the dark valley where I felt like there was no hope for my life and me. That was when I learned to realize God’s love through people I met, especially gay and lesbian people. For them, I am eternally grateful for the new life and for the lessons to love the others. Bottom line – the purpose of this blog is to encourage the Christians to LOVE ONE OTHER without making any judgmental call.

What makes me to participate NOH8 photo event? The answer is pretty simple. They were there for me and I want to show that I am there for them too. When I faced the hardship, many Christians I knew backed off while gay and lesbian people came in and support me. That is an experience I will never forget because I used to gloat and to judge on them as hopeless sinners, condemning forever to hell. One day, I asked one lesbian friend, who is still my dear aunt, if she knew I was a pastor and I used to make judgments. She said she knew, but she can see my real love in deep of my heart.

That makes me realize after all of those years of being a Christian in churches since I born, she made me see who I really am in God’s love. For this, I called her my aunt ever since. (I still love you, AUNT!) Point: they were there for me when I faced the darkest times of my life. It will be very hypocrisy of me if I don’t attend to show my love. Believe it or not, I did pray about it and I found peace in my heart to go. I have to thank to my dear friend, Jasun Hicks, for welcoming me to NOH8. He came to me gently and asked me politely. Why should I say, “No, because you are gay!” What kind of love is this?

Anyway, I faced a new experience that one person gloated at me for using my Bible at NOH8 photo event. Furthermore, he gloated to my sweet lesbian friend, who felt so confused and worthless to be saved. That’s where I rolled up my sleeves and decided to shed the light on those Christians who keep passing judgments. To Christians who continue making negative judgmental calls, I am asking you to back down. If you disagree with me, please read James 1:19-21 and, most importantly, Matthew 7:1-5 (which clearly states that we have NO RIGHTS to judge, PERIOD).

And, now I want to show you readers that I know some people who were hurt by Christians and they are NOT gay and lesbian people (they left their comments on my facebook and I removed their names for their privacy):

"Most of time Christians can be very judgmental on people. That s why I quit to have a social with christian people. They just put all wordswith rage, jealous, judgment, and more to me. There were no love of God in this enivornment. I m sorry to say that church is considering one of the most unsafe place to go unless they change their attitude toward people like me."

"I'M W/ (name deleted) BC NO MATTER WHAT CHUCH I GO TO ALLL THEY DO IS JUDGE ME VERY BADLY W/ THIS HORRIBLE RAGE W/O EVEN GET TO KNOW ME FIRST. THAT IS WHY I DON'T GO TO CHURCH ANYMORE. WHY BOTHER GO CHURCH WHERE THERE IS NO LOVE WHATSOEVER! HOW CAN THOSE CHURCH CHRISTIAN JUDGE ME Q DOES JESUS JUDGE U Q THE ANSWER IS NO JESUS DOES NOT JUDGE U. I AM A STRONG BELIEVER IN JESUS. IT IS VERY SAD THAT THOSE CHRUCH CHRISTAIN DARE TO JUDGE W/O EVEN THINK BEFORE U SAY IT. BUT I DO PRAY FOR THEM EVERYDAY NO MATTER WHAT. GOD BLESS ALL SMILE."

Also, I got this wonderful email from one of my friends who happened to share a wonderful story. Please check this out:

I am sorry that you going through this. I know this issue is very sticky situation. As a christian I always show them grace, mercy and love and does them one of my good friend was a former lesbian and somehow she found Jesus and is now sharing the gospel and is on fire for the Lord. that why I feel totally disgust to those who bash out to gay/les with wrong approach. Very dangerous as same concept as
John 8:7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."
It is my call on toward this people because of my father was leading a double life and he passed away of AIDS in 2007. I never forget all of my visitation to my Dad. I never knew until he was dying. I change my view on gay/les because of the Lord show me clear and I even pray and sense the heavenly glory and show deep love, grace and mercy toward my father and I see his tears! It was powerful!!!! Good part that he accept Jesus and went to heaven. So that why I support you on this. May God bless you!!!!

In Christ,
(name deleted)

I want to grab this opportunity to discuss about this passage that was mentioned in the recent passage (John 8:1-11). It was when the religious leaders tested Jesus by throwing the prostitute on floor before Jesus and mentioned that in Bible that if the woman was caught in committing adultery must be stoned to death. The religious leaders tried to trap Jesus: (1) if Jesus said to cast a stone, Jesus will be accused as murderer or (2) if Jesus chose not to cast the stone, he will be accused for not following the law of God. (And Jesus knew that.) Instead of making either decision, Jesus answered that anyone without sin cast the stone, everyone ended up leaving the woman alone. What does it mean? We ALL make mistakes.

For the person who accused me and passed harsh judgment on my lesbian friend, it shows me that he lacks the true meaning of love, grace, and mercy. Therefore, he has my true sympathy because he missed out the beauty of life itself. Life is so beautiful – full of love, joy, and... you name it.

Now, as a Christian who really wishes to see a better community, I am asking you to stop passing judgment and attacking the people. It’s pointless to attack because it clearly shows that you did not share your love.

I want to share one more thing – in the passage (Mark 10:17-22) where one rich man asked Jesus how to be saved. Jesus told him to follow the laws and normal rules, and then sell everything and give away everything and follow Jesus. The rich man refused. So he walked away. What did Jesus do? He respected his choice. And, the most important part is Jesus did not backstab that person. Jesus did not even came to him and screamed his head off, “DID YOU KNOW THAT IN THE BIBLE, YOU WILL BE SENT TO HELL, DIDN’T YOU?!”

The bottom line for me to say to my other Christian fellows: To judge or not to judge...? That's NOT even a question... As a Christian, I am asking you to set aside your judgmental calls and to start learning how to share the love. It is simply because we are not called by God to judge.

And I am sorry to say this, but… If you are a Christian and you look down at the other person for different lifestyle or different belief, you are not a true believer.

Once again, if you do judge the others, you will be judged.