Church Is An Ugly Word

Before you shout your head off at me, I am asking you politely to read the whole blog to consider the purpose of my message.

The question: What makes me thinking “church” as an ugly word?

The answer is pretty simple. After the years of going to churches, I had been witnessing a lot of mistreatments that were going on. I used to be a pastor, making poor judgmental calls and becoming ultra-conservative Bible thumper. In year 2002, my life turned around and I finally saw many things differently. After socializing with people outside of the churches, it was like opening my eyes to the new world.

Once I got the short message from cool guy, “Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.” Once I posted it on my facebook, it suddenly stirred up a debate. From that point, I grabbed some time to observe and to think about things that are going on around nowadays.

The truth is that I do hate going to churches. My close friends and my family are very aware of that. I have no secret about this. It is simply because the churches failed to understand the significance of support system.

I want to share one story with you guys. It’s about my friend who is a mother and was an alcoholic. She had an affair with a married man and got pregnant by him. Unfortunately, that man had to leave her to stay with his wife. Furthermore, she faced more hardships: (1) being an alcoholic and (2) unemployment.

She refused the choice to abort and she did not want to drink any alcohol beverage to harm her child. One night, she showed up at the Alcoholic Anonymous, baring her soul as worthless, stupid person with no value. However, a week later, the group gathered to offer her a plenty of help that she did not ask for. She got a new room prepared for her child. The group also scheduled meals ready to serve her after the birth, and she has plenty of supplies such as diapers, clothes, and so on that last for a year. And the best part is that she did not have to pay one cent for hospital to deliver the child.

After listening to this story, my jaw was on the floor. Why is that? It’s because I never witness such love from any church in my entire life. That made me wondering: What happens to the churches nowadays?

Therefore, the church itself is becoming an ugly word because if I asked my friend who is non-believer to come to church with me, I am sure he/she will feel apprehensive. And, I don’t blame him/her for this.

Another question: Why do I write this?

It’s because I want the Christians to wake up and to start sharing love, not passing any more judgmental calls. And it's because I am so tired and sick of hearing many people out there telling me how cold Christians treated them whenever they go to church.

Especially whenever the person missed for whatever reasons, the others tend to ask the person why they missed last Sunday. What kind of love is that? If the person missed, the others could simply contact to talk and to hang out. Now, that's what I really want to see in the churches nowadays.

Therefore, church is truly an ugly word because it doesn’t sound welcoming for people in general. It’s time for you church goers to wake up and to examine your hearts. It’s because as a Christian, we are called to share the love. Sadly, church itself is now dying and nowadays people chose to believe that church is simply a place for feeble-minded religious freaks. I don't blame them for thinking that way.

My final question: What is the solution?

What I can say is to check your heart. Do you really love anyone? Love them regardless to their different lifestyle? Different beliefs? Different opinions? If you say no to one of those, you would need to examine your heart because we are not here to judge the people.

Here are the passages for you to consider:

II Peter 1:3-9

Ephesians 4:2-3

I can go on and list more passages showing how important it is to love one other.

Also, my good friend shared the passage with me from the book called, "UnChristian," which I had been postponing to read. Nevertheless, please read this passage:

"As Christians, we have to keep in mind that response rates are not the ultimate goal but rather the wise and careful stewardship of the image of God. Today's media and technology create unparalleled opportunities but they also wield the potential to harm the Christian image among many outsiders. If you create more barriers with outsiders because of your tactics, you have not been good steward of the gospel. How we choose to share Christ is as important as our actually doing it."

Once again, we have to remember: we have NO rights to judge. Matthew 7:1 stated, "Do not judge others, and you will not be judged."

I personally pray that the Christians change their attitudes and transform themselves into loving people. Otherwise, church remains as ugly word to the outsiders.